In a world where it seems like almost nothing is in our control, it is natural to try to cling to the things that we do have control over. Being able to plan ahead and predict certain things gives us a sense of peace of mind and a delusional, yet comforting idea that we know what to expect in this crazy world we live in. Lately, there have been a lot of things in my life that have been stressing me out and most of these things are out of my control. I have always hated feeling like things are out of my hands, but it is simply a part of life. All we can do is trust that the path we’re meant to be on will unfold in front of us and keep living each day as best as we can.
Over the past few weeks I have obsessed over my upcoming race in December. About a month ago, I got sidelined by a minor hamstring injury and had to take about two weeks off of training. At this point, I still had ten weeks left until race day, but by the time I was able to get back to training I was down to less than 8 weeks, which is TERRIFYING to think about. I am not where I need to be fitness-wise. I wake up at night stressed out wondering if I will be ready when race day finally arrives. There is a giant question mark in the back of my mind, but all I can do is take it one day at a time and focus on the things that I do have control over.
Tuesday was the first run in about a month where I finally felt like myself again. I had a long track session at marathon pace, and although it still seems crazy to think that I’m trying to run 26 miles at that pace, the pace felt surprisingly relaxed. I walked away from that workout with the belief that it can still happen. Awhile ago my coach sent me a text that I keep repeating to myself.
“Keep the small details in focus. The dream will begin to reveal itself. Don’t stare at it, only glance. The day to day and the small things are what to watch.”
I am trying so hard to not look too far ahead. I will keep doing the little things and hopefully all these little things will add up to one monumental performance on race day. I don’t know what will happen on that fateful day in California, but I do know one thing. I know that I am doing all that I possibly can to be ready on December 2nd. I am controlling all the factors that I can to put myself in the best position to reach my goal. All I can ask of my body is to do its best and hopefully everything else will fall into place.
Here’s my takeaway. Instead of focusing on the ‘what if’s’, I am going to focus on the dream. I know that even amongst the chaos, there is a reason that dream is still there. Perhaps the future will look slightly different than expected, the dream may change over time, but in the end, it will be exactly what it was meant to be.
“Belief is everything. Without it you are only a fraction of yourself, and with it you continue to realize what else you can achieve.” – Allie Kieffer